Undelivered Letters
by Night Music
Summary: While cleaning out his mother’s room, Jim runs across a very interesting letter that his mother wrote to a mysterious lover.


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Undelivered Letters

By: NightMusic

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Author's Note: Ah, well, this really isn't anything much. Just a short "drabble". I got the inspiration for it when I was talking to my friend about letters that I write to my future husband and she said that she did the same thing. Heh, I figured Sarah probably had a little bit of that hopeless romantic-ness and since we never get to see that side of her in TP I decided to oblige.

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Summary: While cleaning out his mother's room, Jim runs across a very interesting letter that his mother wrote to a mysterious lover.

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Disclaimer: As always, none of the characters are mine…blah blah blah…you know the drill. Don't worry, there were no penguins harmed in the making of this fan fic.

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Jim turned his gaze off to the side at the sound of an excited squeak, and he laughed when he saw Morph fly over towards him with a hankerchief wrapped about his tiny head like a woman's shawl. 

"Yeah, it's a great look for you, Morph," he said with a smirk and a good-natured roll of his eye.

"Great look for you!" the little creature returned with a giggle, dropping the hankerchief to fly back under the bed again in search of lost treasures.

Jim smiled and finished sweeping the hard wooden floor before leaning against the broom with a pleased sigh and looking about. He had come home from the Academy for the weekend and found the Benbow Inn as busy as ever, his poor mother run nearly ragged as she fought to keep up with everything. Even with the extra help that she had hired, there was still endless work to be done and customer's constantly prattling for her immediate service. So, when all the patrons had left that night, Jim forced his mom to sit down in front of the fire with a cup of hot tea and simply relax for a bit while he finished the cleaning. She had smiled that small, proud smile and relinquished to the chance to get to simply prop up her sore feet for a time. 

After cleaning up the kitchen with the help of Catherine, one of the young serving girls that now worked there, Jim moved to his mother's bedroom, deciding to tidy it up a bit for her as a surprise. She spent so much time waiting on others that she rarely had enough time to take care of the personal things of her own. Her room hadn't been swept in some time, and there were several articles of clothing laying about that she'd not had time to put up yet. There was no order to the things that sat atop her desk, everything simply haphazardly tossed there before she slumped into bed, too exhausted to worry with placing anything in some form of proper order.

Jim smiled and shook his head slightly again at the thought. There were several nights his mother would fall asleep without even bothering to change into her nightclothes. She could be up past midnight cleaning the kitchen and then up the next morning at the crack of dawn, waiting to serve her guests in the best way possible. He remembered almost being happy that night when the inn had been burned down, thinking that his mom might now at least get the rest she deserved. Yet the inn was her passion and she loved what she did…so Jim would simply nod his head and smile while helping out to the best of his ability.

Again there was that excited chattering, and Jim turned his head to see a small box being slowly scooted out from under the bed. He laughed softly and kneeled down on the floor as Morph flew up in front of his face, presenting his prized treasure proudly. "Hey, what'd ya find there, huh?"

Picking up the box carefully, Jim pulled it into his lap and looked at it. Silently he wondered how long it had been under there and if his mother even knew of its existence anymore. Morph gave a curious little burble as he zipped about Jim's head, and the boy laughed. 

"Well, it probably wouldn't hurt anything to see what's inside."

Carefully he pried open the lid with his fingertips and peered inside, just as curious as Morph to see what lay within. Inside the small box was a stack of folded papers, bound together by a red velvet string. Jim frowned lightly as he took the bundle out, sliding the top letter out from under the string. Morph gave an uncertain little noise and Jim shook his head at the blob.

"Don't worry, Morph, mom's probably forgotten all about this box being under there anyway. I just want to see who these letters are to."

The pink creature made another soft sound but quickly flew to peer over Jim's shoulder. The young man set the box and remaining letters aside and carefully unfolded the paper, smiling softly when he noticed it was in his mom's beautiful handwriting.

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My dearest friend,

Well, it has been so long since I last wrote one of these letters that I'm not even sure really how to start. The last time was probably…eighteen years ago? Ouch, has it really been that long? Wonderful, now I feel old. Haha.

When I was a little girl I would always write letters to my "future husband" and place them in a secret box labeled "undelivered letters". It was just one of those silly little girlish fantasies of mine, I suppose. Just the thought that one day I would grow up, meet that perfect man that I knew I would want to spend the rest of my life with, and be able to give him my secret box. A box filled with letters written just for him. Some of them were my own wonderings about what he would be like…some of them were telling him something specific he should know about me…and some of them were just telling him about my day and how much I wish I knew him so I could tell him personally all about it. Short letters, long letters. Some scratched out on napkins, some written on pretty stationary with little hearts all around it. Such a wide variety.

But then I gave up. I realized that I would never know that perfect someone and so my special box was put aside. Relationships came and every time I would almost be ready to turn over my box…but then my "special someone" would break my heart and back into the closet that little box would go. I had almost completely forgotten that it even existed.

Then I met you. 

Do you remember the first day we met? I know I'll never forget it. Not exactly the best confrontation,, that's for sure. For so long I would regard you with suspicious eyes, not knowing what your next move would be. Oh, you always were so cunning. I didn't feel as though I could trust you, though I must admit that you never gave me reason not to.

Then there was that one night… 

Oh, even as I write this I know it's going to sound foolish. Just a silly little girl with her hopeless romantic fantasies again. But, do you remember that one night after I had closed everything up that you came downstairs to find me crying? You may not remember. It really wasn't that big of a deal. Still, let me retell you of that moment through my eyes so that maybe you can see how much you meant to me that day.

I remember that it had been a very hard day…and I had no one to share my pain with. I couldn't go to my little box, write a new letter and put it in there for my future husband because the truth of the matter was that there was never going to be a future husband. I knew that then. Not after my last relationship left me with such a broken heart. I was far too afraid to try again.

Yet there you were. Coming down the stairs at the sound of my sobs. You were there, ready to listen to what had happened that day that caused me such distress. You didn't speak any words, simply listened as I related the pains of my heart. Thank you for knowing when not to say anything. Sometimes there are simply no words that need to be said, and that was indeed such a time.

Then, just as I finally managed to calm my thoughts and bring my tears under control, you rose from your chair and walked over to me. At first I shied away, but then you very tenderly took me in your arms and all I could do was collapse against you. I cried into your shoulder as you stroked my hair. Do you know what I felt then? I felt safe. Like, for the first time in so long, I was exactly where I needed to be. Like I had nothing to fear because you were there watching over me.

Everything just felt…right.

How long we stood there, I'm not sure if either of us know, but it was at that time that I realized how much I cared about you. At first these feelings scared me. I didn't want to go through all the pain of a relationship again, yet here you were bringing out in me feelings I had long kept hidden. It had been so long since I'd known the gentle touch of a man and all I wanted to do was freeze that moment in time forever and just let you hold me.

Since then, these secret feelings have only continued to grow. That little feeling of butterflies in my stomach whenever you looked my way was a feeling I thought I'd lost a long time ago. The way the sound of your laughter always makes me laugh as well. That rougish grin that just makes my heart melt and a blush form on my cheeks. Endless sincere compliments on any number of random things. Just sitting up late talking.

This is the way things should be.

I miss you whenever you are gone, and the days are exceedingly longer without you here. I understand your passion for the high seas, but I always miss you so terribly when you return to it for some small bit of business or another. I keep a constant watch out the window for your ship to pull once more into port so that I might run outside and be the first to greet you home. Just as a wife would, I suppose. 

So I start a new box tonight. A box of letters not written for a man I do not even know but rather a box written for one man and one man alone. These letters in this box are all yours. Each of them written especially for you. Perhaps there will be a day when I can finally turn this box over to you…or maybe this shall simply remain another treasured secret of mine. Whatever the case may be, know that my thoughts linger upon you and I sit in hope of a future spent at your side.

With all my love I give this gift to you-

Sarah Hawkins

Jim gave a soft sigh and shook his head. An entire box of letters for Leland Hawkins that she had written during their courtship, no doubt. How had his father ever given up something as amazing as his mother. Did he not know how much she loved him? Did he not feel the outpouring of her emotions in this letter? Could he not see the tears of an unrequited love falling against the pages?

Jim sighed again as Morph gave a sympathetic burble, and he began to fold the letter up once more. His father was a fool. That's all there was to it. A terrible, terrible fool to leave her.

Just as he was about to put the letter back into its box, Jim stopped. At the top of the page, he saw a date scrawled at the top that caught his eye. 

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03.24.750

He frowned, tilting his head off to one side. How could that be possible? According to this date, this letter was written no more than six months ago. 

Turning the letter over in his hands, Jim searched the paper with a slight frown. Then, just as Morph made another excited chattering sound, his eyes landed on exactly what he was looking for and a smile of amused amazement spread across his face. There, in his mother's perfect hand writing, was the name of the mysterious lover. 

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To: Capt. Long John Silver

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Author's Note: Hah, okay, so were you surprised. Did ya think it was Leland Hawkins? Blah! What a jerk. I never did like him. Silver/Sarah for life! Hehe. Now that you've read it once, I suggest you go back and reread Sarah's letter now knowing who it's really addressed to. You'd be amazed how much your perspective on some things will change.


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